ed ruscha inspired:
heavy industry
heavy industry
1
texas hairspray
on
ave, st
the
love chief
the cold beer, beautiful girls
americana
2
us
on the road
1984
us dirty
us
baby
brews truth
3
sex
as hope
your back
pretty eyes
4
honk
if you like
talk radio
twentysix gasoline
stations
thirtyfour
parking lots
5
wild
boy
silly america
i plead
i am crazy
6
annie’s
electric bills
her heavy
desire
he didn’t care
she did
7
every building
and
nine swimming pools
it’s okay
it’s only
los angeles
8
retro
spective
juice of the city
9
high
baby jet goes
noise
noiseless
10
the boulangerie
man knows
the sunset industry
is
the end
1 comment:
- problem lines / words for me…
on, the in the first section. This doesn't happen in any of the other sections and is really not great.
The second section, "truth", what truth? I'm not asking because I want to know what you mean… but because I don't think we can claim to give it… and it should be clear that this is the speaker. Perhaps we should consider it as spoken somehow… italics perhaps? I don't know. Just a thought.
I like #3 and think that there is a breath between sex / as hope… perhaps your black / pretty eyes could go between them? I feel as though they are between them, right? This is your point in a way?
I assume the numbers here (in#4) are references to Ruscha or your own interpretation of Ruscha's awareness of things like this…? I like the first stanza. It's a juxtaposition for me that is really identifiable, but perhaps not so much to others? I don't care. I like it.
5- my favorite of the piece.
6- i don't care about her heavy desire.
7- i don't care about nine swimming pools here either.
8- i think I've heard juice of the city before… or not. I think this section can go away.
9- this is beautiful in several ways. i read it as each of the first four words on their own line though.
10- is this the place in Logan Square? I'm confused!
This should go without saying… I'm only telling you what I think. You know my work though, and can take / leave what is important to you now. Also- feel free to direct me in a way to get better feedback. I'm open ears!
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